Expectations & Reality

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    ❝ Yviana V. Mendoza; Nineteen
    。 Taken by Dean A. Sanchez
    。 Living in El Paso, TX
    。 Happy-go-lucky attitude
    。 Kush + Cars + Sex = ♥
    Twitter.com/yviana_
    。 Get to know me personally :)

  1. I could use this right now…
  2. "

    To Remember Me


    Give my sight to the man who has never seen a sunrise, a baby’s face, or love in the eyes of a woman.

    Give my heart to a person whose own heart has caused nothing but endless days of pain.

    Give my blood to the teenager who was pulled from the wreckage of his car, so that he might live to see his grandchildren play.

    Give my kidneys to one who depends on a machine to exist from week to week.

    Take my bones, every muscle, every fiber and nerve in my body and find a way to make a crippled child walk.

    If you must bury something, let it be my faults, my weaknesses, and all prejudice against my fellow man.

    Give my sins to the devil.

    Give my soul to God.

    If, by chance, you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed or word to someone who needs you. If you do all I have asked, I will live forever.

    "

    Robert N. Test, American Poet
  3. I’ll never let you go… I love you Matthew. ❤ (Taken with instagram)
  4. Today was anything other then what I had anticipated it would be like… I lost my oldest brother today and the reality of it still hasn’t set in yet. It all happened too soon and too quick I can’t grasp it, I feel as if he’s just not coming home for the night but he’ll be back next week… But that’s not the case. 
God took my brother back into the gates of heaven, for reasons unbeknownst to any member of my family. He had so much more life to live, so many reasons and people that loved him but most importantly his 4 year old daughter. I can’t imagine her growing up with out him to be there for her every step. She meant everything to him and I’m sure he means the same.
I can’t grasp anything because of how different they were exactly 24 hours ago… Just yesterday he was breathing, talking, walking and just being himself and now, he’s truly gone… 
Words cannot describe how much my brothers mean to me and the things I’d selflessly give for each and everyone of them. Sitting in the hospital I couldn’t help but think that in ICU room 28, would be the last time my family was a whole; the last time I’d be with my four brothers together. My heart is heavy, it’s full of pain and my eyes are swelled with tears because I miss my brother already… I’d give  A N Y T H I N G  to hear his voice again or feel his hands grasp mine.
I can’t stand to see my mom breaking down and hear my dads weeping for him. My parents I know will make it through everything for the sake of his daughter (my niece) and to help her understand what it is that happened to her dad.. 
Matthew, I already miss you.. So much. Stay safe in Gods hands and I promise to see you soon. I know your better now so my heart is at ease, although I wish I could see you again. The house just won’t be the same without you and your knowledge on some of the strangest things…Like your experimental cooking or your extensive knowledge in flavored/seasonal beer brewing; your love for cars, history, technology, and news… I’m going to miss all of that, especially your laugh and the breathtaking smile to go with it. I love you Matthew and I miss you already… Please watch over us and keep us safe. I promise you to help out with Dani and make sure that all the time you spent fighting for your right to see her and be with her didn’t go to waste and take over in anything else it is that you constantly helped Mom and Dad with. Rest now big brother, you’re safe and sound… No more pain, no more stress, no more insignificant worries… I love you Matthew. Thank you for all that you did for me and our family; I can only hope to be as strong and smart as you were. Goodnight Matthew, I’ll see you in my dreams and boy did God bless our family with such an amazing angel like you. Rest now, I love you. ♥
08/01/85-05/26/12
  5. Please keep my brother in your prayers tonight. He’s not doing too well tonight.  (Taken with instagram)
  6. I wanna go camping!
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